How to Give a Cat a Bath (Lessons for Marriage)

Not too long ago, my husband and I adopted a new kitten. Well, actually, it was more like the kitten adopted us. He was working in the backyard, and this young kitten came right over to him. The kitty would not leave his side, and it became more and more obvious that it was probably not a feral cat. We decided to bring the kitty to the vet to see if it was chipped. It was not, and the vet told us that we could keep it if we wanted to, or just release it back outside. Neither of us really wanted to do that, so we decided to keep it.

We found out it was a girl, she got her first shots, then we brought her home to get her settled in the bathroom (we had to isolate her after the shots, away from our other cat). Over the weekend, we started to notice, besides being a little stinky, she had a few buggies around her. So, we decided to give her a bath.

What were we thinking?

I have never given a cat a bath. I have never wanted to give a cat a bath. How do you even do that? I don’t know, but this past Friday evening, when I got home from work, that was going to be the time we did this.

There really is no way to prepare for such a task. We made sure that we had all of the supplies we needed (dawn soap, rinsing container, gloves, towels), but we also had other things we needed to get ready before we even began.

We had to make sure we each knew who was doing what. Who was holding the cat? Who was the one doing the washing and rinsing? I took on the task of introducing our new 6-month-old kitty to soap and water. How fun.

We also knew that we had to just dive into it (metaphorically, not physically), and get it done. It was not going to be pleasant for any of us. At one point, the very wet kitty ended on my husband’s shoulder, digging her newly cut nails (which we did right before her bath) into his shirt. But still, we managed to finish the task.

After we were done, I wrapped her up in a towel, she settled in my arms, and we were all able to relax a little. Mission accomplished!

So, what does this have to do with marriage?

After we finished, I started thinking about how this very thing is quite similar to being married. Without question, marriage is one of the hardest, yet most worthwhile, things that I have ever done. I have learned more about myself than I ever thought I would.

I have learned that there is no way to prepare for marriage. You think you have the supplies you need (communication, patience, understanding, boatloads of love for your person). But only after you are in it, do you realize what you don’t need (like gloves to wash a cat, for example). These are things like criticism, a harsh tongue, stubbornness, unwillingness to compromise, or thinking you will be the one to change this person (p.s. you won’t).

You dive into your life together, the unknown, learning more and more about them every single day. What makes them tick, what they like, what they need, while they are learning about what makes you tick, and what you like and need.

And then days, weeks and years later, you get to the point where you start to feel like you are building a life together. This person is your soulmate, your teammate, your partner. You chose them, and they chose you. If there is a task before you, you figure it out. You work together to accomplish it.

And when you are done, you can just relax in each other’s arms.

Hard Lessons

“If people want to be in your life, they will make an effort to do so.”

I was reminded of this quote during a conversation I had with one of my co-workers this morning. She was struggling in a situation with someone in her life, so I mentioned it to her. It’s hard to hear sometimes, but I do believe it to be true. We all have had people in our lives that come and go through the years. Some of them become lasting friendships, some of them just passersby.

I have learned, the hard way, that if a friendship is only as strong as the effort and energy you put into it, it’s probably not a true friendship at all. It’s exhausting. I have had people like this in my life where I gave every ounce of myself to our friendship. I was always the one calling and texting and checking in on them, but when I pulled back a little, most of the time because life just got busy and hard, it surprised to me how many people I never heard from. People that I thought (and hoped) would be there, weren’t.

I’m not at all angry or bitter toward these people, just confused, maybe a little hurt. But it was a lesson worth learning.

I wanted to share this in case someone else needs to hear it too.